Friday, September 20, 2013

My Sweet Cade

I know this is a little late...but here it is! 

Cade Porter's birth story.

So, to be honest, there's not much to it. I started having contractions at 3:45am, we rushed to the hospital at about at about 5:30, I think I was checked in by about 6:00 and then he came at 6:45. No drugs, not one pain med (which meant a lot of pain) and my sweet, little, special blessing was in my arms before I could even think about what was going on. was a very fast labor, but too bad it wasn't easy!!! haha My labor with Hunter was 14 hours so this REALLY caught me off guard. I guess he was ready to come, and that's exactly what he did! It was a VERY intense three hours, and all I wanted to do afterwards was just space out, and not think about or do anything for just a few minutes, just so I could mentally recover from what just happened. That was a lot of intense pain to cram into such a small amount of time! Oh, and in case you didn't know, I have a very low tolerance for pain! I did want an epidural, and when the nurse told me that I was at 7, I knew that there wasn't any hope! They couldn't even put anything in my IV because he was coming so fast. I seriously felt traumatized afterwards! haha I never thought it would have happened that fast, and for those of you that have gone all natural, know that the pain of pushing that baby out is insane!'s a good thing there was a prize at the end of all of that pain. It was a reward that helped to mend my broken heart from the last time I was in labor. This time, my baby cried...this time, my baby was healthy...this time, I was able to look into a face and know that he would mine to raise here on Earth. I loved him, I held him like there was no tomorrow, and I was so incredibly grateful for this special little spirit who I know would possibly not be here if it wasn't for past events.

I know I've said it before, but how great is my joy because of my sorrows. When the pediatrician came in and told us that we were released to take a healthy baby home, I couldn't help but cry because of how happy I was. 

The last 5 years have been quite the whirlwind. We waited about two and half years for Hunter to finally be here (trying to get pregnant, and then being pregnant). Recovered from that pregnancy. Got pregnant 15 months later. I was pregnant for 5 months, lost our sweet little angel. Attempted to recover physically and mentally. Got pregnant again about 7 months later, and then delivered my beautiful baby boy. 

I look at our little family, and my heart is full. Finally, after many years, I feel complete (for now). 

I often think about how things would be if Elle was here. Not only about what it would be like to have a daughter, and that she would be about one year old right now, but I think about how I would have had to get pregnant right away with Cade for him to be here right now. It's a good thing I don't have to figure that out. All I have to do is trust in Heavenly Father's plan, not only for me, but for my children. I know that Cade is supposed to be here right now. He already brings SO much happiness to our family. I can't even put into words how special he is to me. He loves to make faces and smile at others. He likes to have attention and to be held. And most importantly, he's a happy healthy boy. 

One week old

Blessing Day-4 weeks old
Brothers-3 mo. old-3 years old