It's 5 o' clock in the morning, and I'm lying here in bed with my beautiful son next to me and my handsome husband getting ready to go to SWAT training...This routine happens pretty much every other week, and although I'm grateful for the training that my husband is getting, I do wish that he could stay home and play with Hunter and I.
We just got back from our family vacation, and we are definitely being thrown back in to the "real world" pretty quickly. Michael starts his new position this week and although I am very excited and happy for him, it will be quite the change for our little family. He will be gone one extra day a week for a 4/10 work schedule, but those 4 days usually turn in to 5 or 6 days because of having to testify in court, taking gang classes, training, getting called out etc. Not to mention keeping up on his normal duties of SWAT.
I know it kind of seems like I'm complaining, or may be in need of a "pity party", but that's not the reason for this post...Honestly, I don't think I can pin point the reason why I'm writing this...I've never taken the time to write about Michael's job, but I thought that since he's starting his new specialized assignment, now would be a good time.
I would like to say that if you have a "normal" life, you should consider yourself lucky. What's normal? Having your husband home for dinner at least 3-5 times a week, not having to spend night after night by yourself, not wondering if your husband is going to come home from work because of what he has to do at work, being able to openly talk about what your husband does without worrying about the response your going to get, or whether or not it will benefit your family, not having to stand up for what he does, or not having to worry about hiding or locking away the "things" your husband uses at work. I'd say that those are all pretty normal things...I know that as newly weds, we will go through some rough patches or crazy schedules because of trying to get through school, or getting in to careers and what not, but my crazy schedule will pretty much last forever (well at least for a REALLY long time).
If I could have seen in to the future and see what my life was going to be like, would I still choose it? Well...yes, and no. Being a "cops wife" has definitely made me a stronger person, and has given me more faith than I have ever had, but it is hard...I am proud of Michael, and know that he has an honorable career, but there is definitely a price to pay.
"A Police Officer's Wife"
A special kind of woman: a cut above the rest,
That's A Police Officer's Wife, rating her best.
How many good byes are whispered, joined with a fond embrace?
As duty steals her man, for the danger he must face.
How often have meals been ruined - or tender moments disturbed,
by a call for special duty, sparking loyalty un-swerved?
It's a devil of a job, for an angel like this, Who......for the love of her man, must forsake that kiss,
She can run a garden tractor; even paint a room in need,
How she can stretch a dollar is a miracle indeed.
She's mother, lover, chauffeur and nurse, A living symbol of: "for better or for worse."
Rich is the man, reaping his rewards in life,
Who chose to be the other half of
So today Michael turned 26...kinda weird, 4 years away from 30, but time just keeps moving quickly! I just wanted to dedicate this blog to him so that he knows he's special. (I try and make birthdays as special as I can, because it is the day to celebrate YOU and only you!)
Ten facts about Michael
He loves to go shooting, golf, play and watch baseball (Go Angels!), fish, snow board and wake board.
He loves watches.
He loves learning about Navy Seals (and secretly wishes he was one but wouldn't put his family through that career choice), gangs, weapons, and most importantly, the gospel.
His favorite foods are steak, steak...oh and steak. He also loves sushi and sea food.
He likes to watch cooking shows, (Master Chef, Hell's Kitchen, Iron Chef etc.), is a long time and loyal fan of The Simpsons, and also likes 30 Rock, House, Friends and Everybody Loves Raymond.
He is a member of the SWAT and gang team for Rialto PD. He is the most brave and courageous person I know and will ever know.
He's the oldest of four siblings.
He's loves Harley Davidson. He has a Harley and a lot of Harley attire and accessories.
He loves Boxers (dogs) and takes really good care of our two very own Boxers, Reesy and Bruno.
And for the best fact of them all...He has a loving wife and adorable son who want to wish him a happy, happy, birthday!!
Being that this is the first birthday that Michael has celebrated with our little Hunter, I thought I would take the opportunity to start a tradition. Every year, we'll pick out a book for them to share together. This year it was the "critters" book, "Me and My Dad" and "Diamond Jim Dandy and the Sheriff". I LOVE traditions! (=
length: 23inches weight: 11 lbs. 13 oz. clothes:NB (although most NB jam-jams don't fit anymore because I'm too long) some 0-3/3-6, and I even try some 6 mo. clothes but they are still a little too baggy, but the length is close to my size. diaper size: Still in size 1
My Ridiculously Good Looks
My favorite thing about this month is that I'm starting to smile! I really started to smile at about 6 weeks. It's pretty nice to be able to express my happiness! I definitely smile the most at my Mommy and Daddy.
My eyes are still a blue-ish, and it kind of looks like they are lightening up. Who knows what color they will be...
My hair is looking lighter and lighter. It almost looks like there is some red in it. It's also thinning out a little bit. I hope it doesn't thin out too much. I really like my hair. I especially love the feel of the wind blowing through it.
I'm getting pretty big...Sometimes my Daddy calls me fat boy ha ha ha My little thighs are getting a little chunky, along with the rest of my body. But I'm not too worried because I still keep growing in length. Baby fat is attractive right?
Discovering Life
I'm starting to "coo" a lot! I'm still getting used to this whole using my voice thing but it's pretty fun because every time I make noises Mom and Dad seem to be SO fascinated! I really like to make noises when my Dad sings to me. I know that sounds sissy, but he sings manly songs like 70's rock songs and what not.
I am definitely a morning boy and I love waking up and playing. I'll whine until Mom picks me up and then she'll let me sit with her in bed. I wiggle, coo, smile, yawn...and then go back to sleep. I don't know if she appreciates me waking her up so early just to play with me for a little bit, but I just can't stand laying there. I need to get up and get all of my wiggles out and then I'm good to go.
I discovered my thumb! But I still don't have quite enough control to suck on it all the time, or maybe I just don't want to. I also just recently started enjoying my binky. Mommy's pretty happy about this. She says, "Put a cork in it!"
The comment I hear the most from people is, "Wow, he's SO alert!" I've been this way since day one. Bright eyed and bushy tailed! Mom thinks I'm going to give her a run for her money because of how alert and active I am. I also hear people say that I look older and bigger than I really am. I think it's my hair...or my handsome big boy face.
I've started to drool...a lot! Sometimes I soak the whole front of my onesie. I don't know why I do it, but I do...and I make bubbles with my drool too. That's pretty fun.
I like to stand when somebody is helping me keep my balance, and I stand the most when I'm upset. I don't know why, maybe it helps me get my frustration out.
I am NOT a fan of tummy time. My arms aren't that strong yet so I can't hold myself up all the way. I just lay there and whine so my Mommy feels bad for me and picks me up.
My Adventures
My Blessing This month I was blessed in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My Dad blessed me, and gave me my name. It will be one of the greatest experiences in my life. My Mom's cousin Jesse Pew, best friend Phil Clevinger, Grandpa Mastaler, and Great Uncle Bill Hackett all stood in the circle. Mom's best friend Julie Gilmer and her family were there, her good friends Jeff and Kelly Hume, Trent, Ammiel, the whole Pew clan and of course my Grandparents. I felt very loved and I'm so grateful for the blessing that my Dad gave me. It was a very special day. My Mom even got up and bore her testimony. I remember that she said that the best thing she will be able to give her children is to live her life the best she can so that we may be able to know Christ through her. I am grateful for her testimony.
Church Now that I'm older, I get to go to church every Sunday! I love it! I haven't made it through one sacrament without crying yet, but at least I hold it in until the meeting is almost over. And then i go to primary with my Mommy and it's a lot of fun being with all of the primary kids. My Mom teaches the 8-9 yr. old girls. They always smile at me and tell me how cute I am! One sunday, the Bishops son told my Mom, "What a cute baby you have!" What a sweet little boy! Oh and my first time going to church for all three meetings, they reorganized the Bishopric! That was REALLY neat to see. I'm so grateful to be a part of this church.
The Park I went to the park for the first time for Jeff and Kelly Hume's going away barbeque. It was pretty exciting. I was so excited that I couldn't even eat! (And I was pretty hungry too!)I met a lot of Mommy's friends and it was a lot fun.
National Night Out This month I got to see Daddy at work! I saw him in his SWAT uniform, with all of his guns and everything. They did a demonstration with there big SWAT trucks. It was REALLY neat! My Daddy is my hero!
Victoria Gardens I had a little shopping date with my Mom and Auntie. We saw puppies, went to the scrap book store, the shoe store, the book store and so much more! I did pretty well for my first big shopping experience but I got a little bit cranky towards the end and didn't want to be pushed in my stroller anymore.
Costco So there's this thing called my car seat...and I don't like it at all!! It is for the car...and that's it! If you take me out of the car in my car seat, I won't last very long. Mom thought she'd take me to Costco and leave me in my car seat while she shopped around, and I made her pay by screaming my head off when we got in line. Everyone stared at her and she was pretty embarrassed. I do feel kinda bad...but I just can't stand my car seat!
Play Dates I was babysat by Grandpa for the first time! Also, Ammiel (Mommy's good friend) and Dawn (one of my Mommy's students Mommy's)babysat me too! I get passed around while Mommy teaches her piano and voice students. I don't mind it. I like all my friends. Also, Grandma watched me while Mom and Dad went out for their four year anniversary. It was their first date since I was born. I'm glad they go on dates. That's what Mommy and Daddy's need. I can't for their five year anniversary. We are going to go to Disneyworld, (We are going also because Uncle Scotty's coming home from his mission) and they are bringing me with them! It's going to be a whole family affair! I can't wait!!!
Who ever thought so much could happen in two months and I'm sure I'm forgetting things. My Mom can't believe how so much fits in to such a short amount of time. I can tell that my Mom is starting to get a routine down. She's also getting used to being a stay at home Mom. Although she teaches a lot of students, she still spends a lot of time with me and at home. That's definitely the way it should be, because I love her a lot and I'm glad that she's the one taking care of me. Although Daddy is at work most of the time, I get to see him a lot too. I love my family so much and I'm really grateful to be in such a good home.
Happy one month! I can't believe it's already been that long. It's been quite the experience so far and I really like it here. So here's a little bit about me!
1 month
length: approx 22inches weight: approx. 10 lbs. clothes:NB and some 0-3 (This past week I just started to fit in to most of my clothes. Before, a lot of them would hang off my skinny body) diaper size: I JUST moved up to size 1 I'm moving on up!!
I have grayish blue eyes and I'm not sure what color they will be but everyone thinks I will end up with my Daddy's big blue eyes.
I already have nicknames from my Mommy and Daddy From my Mom: Mr. Bug, Buggy, or just BUG, Booger, Mister, Hunny Bun From my Dad: Big Boy, Frog man, Frogger (Because of how I always have my legs and that's what they call Navy Seals)
I get really impatient when I'm hungry and act like it's the end of the world when I don't get food right away.
I almost always go to sleep in my basinett but then end up in bed next to my Mom after my midnight feedings (Mommy REALLY likes to cuddle with me. Daddy says that she treats me like her own personal doll)Plus I cry when I have to go back to my own bed. My parents bed is just SO comfy!
I HATE the cold and I usually cry when I get my diaper changed because I'm so exposed to the elements. Not cool...
I have a lot of dark brown hair, long fingers, and long feet. My body is pretty slender too...I don't even have to work out and I look pretty good! Although I'm start to get a breast milk belly...hmmm...I better watch that.
I'm a pretty good sleeper and can sleep through loud noises, like fireworks on the 4th of July, and gun shots (I know that may sound weird, but my Daddy really likes to go shooting and I guess he's already starting to get me used to it) Also, I like to sleep all sprawled out. (Like my Daddy)
During the end of my first month I've been crying so much that I'm starting to lose my voice. It sounds raspy...My Mommy really doesn't like it, because she worries about my vocal chords and well being too of course. It's like she wants me to be a singer or something. I don't know why I've been crying so much, maybe I'm going through a phase or something.
I get the hiccups a lot.
I have a really cool room that my Mom decorated for me in Sea Turtles, kind of like Finding Nemo, that's her favorite Pixar movie, and I can't wait til' I get to sleep and play in there. I'm too small right now.
I wiggle around a lot.
I'm pretty much really, really, really, really, really, really, good looking. Don't believe me? Just look at my first baby model photo shoot, then you'll believe me.
http://crackerjackphotos.com/main.html Go to Proofs Username:Rosalie Password:Mastaler
Oh and quick side note, during this photo shoot something really cool happened. I wanted to laugh SO hard, but I don't know how to yet. But get this...I peed and pooped ALL over my Dad when we did this photo shoot. It was great! We all got a good laugh out of it.
My favorite is when I'm held in burping position over the shoulder, with my back being rubbed or patted. I also like it when my Mom sings "La La Lu" to me. That's the song she always sings to get me to calm down, but sometimes it takes a lot of singing because I cry just to cry sometimes...
I'm pretty strong. From the very beginning I could hold up my head pretty well, and I can even shimmy and kinda crawl over my boppy when my Mom puts me on my tummy. I don't like to do it...but she said that it will make me stronger so I guess I'll deal.
Some of the cutest things I do, and I think this is general with all babies...is sneeze, yawn, hiccup, make faces, cough, okay I guess everything I do is extremely adorable, and this is according to my Mommy and Daddy, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles...okay EVERYONE...but like I said, that's according to them, I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or anything.
Well, speaking of bragging...I better stop talking about myself or I may sound a little self centered, but I just want to say one more thing that is REALLY important.
My Mommy and Daddy give me a lot of hugs, and kisses. They always stare at me, and although that may seem like it would be awkward, every time they look at me, I can see the love in their eyes for me. I know that I mean everything to them and they love me more than I will ever know. I guess that must mean that I'm pretty special. I know that I've changed their world since the day I was born, and they seem really happy about it. I'm so glad that I will be with them for all of eternity.
Here is my baby story! It starts from the moment when I went in to labor to when they laid my sweet baby boy on my chest. I can't believe that I have this story to tell, because child birth is such an amazing thing and I'm so grateful that I am able to be a Mom. So here goes!
June 25th was a normal day...
I've been pretty active my whole pregnancy, and even on this day Michael and I woke up, did a few things around the house, went to the movies, Costco, and even Lowes. While Michael put some finishing touches on Hunter's room, I went to AV Idol to support one of my students and of course my town! I felt perfectly fine...I even sat down on the grass and was able to get up without anyone's help LOL
IT BEGINS...That night at about 9:15pm while I was driving home I started to notice a little bit of pain in my lower abdomen. It wasn't bad, but enough to notice and kind of wonder if something was going on. I felt it again probably about 15 to twenty minutes later, and then one more time when I walked up the stairs to my bedroom. I started get curious about the pain, so Michael and I googled it. Well, people always say that when you're having a contraction, your stomach gets hard and you definitely KNOW, but that was NOT the case for me. When I read that it could feel like a menstrual cramp lasting anywhere from 30 to 70 seconds, I knew that I was having them. I told Michael that I may be starting to have them, not really thinking TOO much about it, but I thought I should start paying attention to them. A few minutes after that one came a little bit stronger, and then...MY WATER BROKE!!!
IT REALLY BEGINS!!! 10:15 pm My first thoughts...NO WAY!! This could not be happening! We all thought he was coming late. Only 4 days before at my 38 week appt. I was not even checked for progress because I wasn't feeling anything, and then all of sudden he decides to surprise us and come!?!? I immediately start crying because I did not feel ready...mentally I was NOT ready to have this baby. I just had a regular day that was about to end in a not so regular way, and that was NOT supposed to happen. Well, my dear sweet husband kept telling me, "It's okay, it's okay". I took a quick shower...cried...got dressed...cried...and then got a priesthood blessing...I distinctly remember sitting in the chair, of course crying, shaking so uncontrollably that Michael's hands could not rest on my head. I was nervous...BEYOND nervous, but I kept telling myself, "I can do it...I'm going to meet Hunter today...I can do it...I can do it..."
Quick SIDE NOTE For those of you that know me well, know that I am a HUGE woose! (spelling? lol) A pansy, cry baby, low tolerance of pain etc. I have NEVER had one stitch, broken bone, trip to the hospital for being sick, minor surgery, etc. I've pretty much had a physically pain free and healthy life. Also, I have a phobia of needles, so much that I pretty much cry even when they take a little bit of blood, and I can't stand hospitals, doctors, or anything medical (I DO have a strong appreciation for it all, but they freak me out! Oh and both mine and Michael's Mom's are nurses and I STILL love them ha ha ha) SOoooo hence all of the nervousness, shaking and crying! Okay, now back to my baby story!
THE HOSPITAL 11pm So we made our way to the hospital...I was already packed and pretty much ready to go so it didn't take us too long to leave and get there (Plus Michael's professional driving skills got us there pretty quick) First thing we do when we get there and I started the whole paperwork process. I pretty much stayed really quiet, which is how I get when I'm REALLY nervous, and when the nurses saw me and asked if I was nervous I would just quietly answer..."ya..." and shake my head "yes".
TRIAGE 11:30pm After checking in, I was lead to the triage room...there was no turning back now. I put on the gown (backwards mind you, by accident lol), and after some time they checked me to see if it was really my water that broke, and then they checked to see if I was dialating. This is where the pain began. Not to get too personal, but I have a weird cervix that's placed a little farther back then normal, so for them to check me is a little bit harder than an average person and VERY painful. I just closed my eyes, Michael rubbed my forehead, and bared through the pain, and only cried at the very end when she REALLY had to reach...I was at a 2. (After she left and I wiped my first "pain tears" of the night, I thought about if I would ever be able to do this again. So far it was starting off harder than I ever thought...but knowing that I was going to be able to meet Hunter soon made everything somewhat bearable) Finally, they took my blood and put in my IV. (I didn't cry...I wanted to...but didn't...I was REALLY trying to be brave because these things were the least of my worries at the moment, and I knew that I had to start being strong somewhere!)
LABOR AND DELIVERY Approx. 1am This is where I started asking tons of questions trying to get a clear picture of how everything was going to go. "What happens next? What is that for? When would I get my epidural? When do I get checked again to see if I'm progressing? Etc." At this point I started to notice my contractions getting stronger, and closer together. My doctor left it up to me when to get the epidural and so when I felt like I couldn't take the pain much longer I would tell the nurse. When that time came my hopes were that I was at least half way to 10 so I could be half way done. When she checked me, it was an excruciating pain, especially since I started having a contraction while she was checking me and I was finally at a four. She gave me some pain medicine that completely knocked me out, and then when I woke up from the pain it was time for an epidural.
THE DREADED YET SATISFYING EPIDURAL Approx. 4am Like I said before I have a needle phobia, and I was not looking forward to the epidural...but when those contractions started to get stronger, I was ready. People say that it doesn't hurt, or that it's a small pinch, and yadda yadda, but this is what it was for me. It was an extremely uncomfortable feeling, that felt so awkward that it almost hurt, or pretty much hurt just a little and the process took a little longer than I thought, especially because people would say that it took only a few seconds. Lastly, just the thought of the procedure was terrifying in it itself. It's a very serious procedure that can have VERY serious consequences, but mine went well. I was grateful to be able to relax and rest for a few a hours before I had to start pushing.
TIME TO PUSH When it comes to what time everything else happened, it all seems a blur. At about 6am there was a shift change and I got a nurse who ended up being SO wonderful. I will always remember her! At this time I was at about a 6 and after a few more hours I was at a 10. When it came time to push it didn't seem real. I felt like there was going to be some sort of climax to pushing but there wasn't. All of sudden I just started doing it! Pushing was a lot harder than I thought and since I was already up the whole day and night before I was beyond exhausted. In between contractions all I want to do was sleep...it was SO hard to find the energy to push. Near the end I could feel that my epidural had either worn off, or my body wasn't taking to it anymore. The last few pushes were excruciating and although I was pretty quiet the whole way through, at the end I just started yelling at my Doctor, through sobs and tears, "Get him out of ME! Get him out of me!" I pushed and pushed, and finally he did the episiotomy (cut me) and it was over.
MY BABY After pushing for about one hour, they laid my baby boy on my chest...all I could do was cry, partly because the pain was over and also because my baby was here...he was finally here. All I thought was, "My baby, it's my baby". I remember looking up at Michael and seeing the smile on his face. It was a smile that I had never seen before. He stared at Hunter and then Michael gave me a big kiss on my forehead and then my lips. There are so many words to describe this moment and all of my feelings. I honestly could write, think and talk about this moment in time for years, but if I could choose only one, single word to describe this moment, it would be, Heavenly.
